A few evenings ago I was at home, having a little fifteen course dinner being prepared for me by my servants; Chef Morimoto, Chef Sakai, Chef Nakamura, Chef Kenichi, Chef Ishinabe, Chef Kobe, and Chef Michiva. At some point that cute little Michiva started to get in an argument with Chef Sakai about how much foie gras to put into some sort of ice cream dish. They argued for quite some time and eventually each pulled out I-phones to provide hard evidence for their perspective view points.
Now before I go any further I would like to point out that not too long ago there was a plethora of items on the market that only the most fiscally endowed could afford. For the greater part of the history of England only 1% percent of the population could even own land. Now, more and more, things are being made available to the average, the mundane: In short, “the upper middle-class” can purchase most of the things that I purchase. This is not to say that they can buy everything; they can’t buy my jets, my hand made sports cars, my beautiful women, my art, my good taste, or even one of my small countries in Africa. Nonetheless, a good amount of the things I own, computers and phones, electric toothbrushes and portable Amish fireplaces, semi-automatic weapons and Stars in the sky, can all now be purchased by the average American. Which is shocking, terribly and utterly shocking. Part of owning something is feeling that it’s yours and that it’s not someone else’s. But if everyone else has the same things you do it’s just not the same. It’s as if a part of you was in someone else’s dirty hands.
So, to get back to my story I was sitting in my second favorite dinning room waiting for the Chinese line cooks to finish and they took out their I-phones - I, gentle reader, have an I-phone. They weren’t even American servants, but they still owned something that was exactly the same as some thing I owned. Or they did. I promptly threw my I-phone out my 15th century stained glass window. Before you know it even the homeless will have I-phones, and lord knows, maybe even food!
