Godless dickbags like myself don’t have any real initiation ceremonies to look froward to in life (certainly none where we get money). We have: getting the license at 16, going into a convenience store and thinking you’re gonna buy a porn mag ironically until you find out it costs like 6 fucking dollars at 18, and 21’s no biggie because you’ve already been shitfaced every day of your life since you were 14 and it’s not like they start letting you drink AND drive at 21, and then there’s like, renting a car or getting a 401k and being irrelevant. Sometimes I regret not having a tradition like that (maybe the time I was 15 and went to that wedding and wore a dress and this old guy I didn’t know came up and said I was becoming a woman and then re-adjusted my bra strap?). Other times, I’m like whatever, I don’t need NO excuse to listen to “Winds of Change” by the Scorpions!
