Chriswren

thedailywhat:

Wow. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been for this baby to go around the neighborhood putting these up, let alone type them up in the first place.

Truly inspirational.

[via.]

If I had a domesticated miniature elephant ide never let it out of my sight. You dissapoint us all littly baby.

ilovegold:

I was in Beijing last night for a ball and I mentioned to my host Guo Jinlong (the mayor of Singapore) that I was feeling a little homesick. Guo Jinlong, or as I like to call him my little asian friend, took it upon himself to make me feel more comfortable by having a little camp fire.

ilovegold:

Presidents will come and go, economy’s will crash, the prices of animals doing things that people do will come in and out of style, kings will be forgotten, religions will crumble, gods will die, but gold will always be the apple of man’s eye.

Einstein based his principle of relativity on the constant speed of light. African American men base their future on their potential to slam dunk. Is it so mad, so wild and crazy a dream - the thought that gold can only go up?

ilovegold:

A few evenings ago I was at home, having a little fifteen course dinner being prepared for me by my servants; Chef Morimoto, Chef Sakai, Chef Nakamura, Chef Kenichi, Chef Ishinabe, Chef Kobe, and Chef Michiva. At some point that cute little Michiva started to get in an argument with Chef Sakai about how much foie gras to put into some sort of ice cream dish. They argued for quite some time and eventually each pulled out I-phones to provide hard evidence for their perspective view points.

Now before I go any further I would like to point out that not too long ago there was a plethora of items on the market that only the most fiscally endowed could afford. For the greater part of the history of England only 1% percent of the population could even own land. Now, more and more, things are being made available to the average, the mundane: In short, “the upper middle-class” can purchase most of the things that I purchase. This is not to say that they can buy everything; they can’t buy my jets, my hand made sports cars, my beautiful women, my art, my good taste, or even one of my small countries in Africa. Nonetheless, a good amount of the things I own, computers and phones, electric toothbrushes and portable Amish fireplaces, semi-automatic weapons and Stars in the sky, can all now be purchased by the average American. Which is shocking, terribly and utterly shocking. Part of owning something is feeling that it’s yours and that it’s not someone else’s. But if everyone else has the same things you do it’s just not the same. It’s as if a part of you was in someone else’s dirty hands.

So, to get back to my story I was sitting in my second favorite dinning room waiting for the Chinese line cooks to finish and they took out their I-phones - I, gentle reader, have an I-phone. They weren’t even American servants, but they still owned something that was exactly the same as some thing I owned. Or they did. I promptly threw my I-phone out my 15th century stained glass window. Before you know it even the homeless will have I-phones, and lord knows, maybe even food!

riotrepublic:

A hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage, breaded, and deep fried. Simultaneously one of the best and worst foods on the planet.

realrealsoft:

carlovely:

(via)

takingdrugs:

Submitted by mothmilk.tumblr.com

 happy birthday brainland.

natashavc:

When fascism comes to America, it will not look like fascism.

katyg

 Hilarious

tesslynch:

Indulge me for a hot sec:

When pot is legal everywhere, we will have no deficit.  Music will improve.  Trader Joe’s will start making boston cream pie.  The Twilight Zone will be remade with a giant budget.  Everything will be available in 3D.  Normal eyeglasses will have a 3D function.  The farmer’s market will have a donut stand.  The bathrobe will be improved upon.  Key Lime soda will be stocked at every supermarket.  Children will go to bed on time.  Hammocks sell out everywhere.  Ikea rips off the ball chair with the speakers inside.  Netflix will be available on a 10-cents-per-movie basis, to accomodate the lazy.  Spaceland will start getting the good bands.  Traffic will lessen because more people will be safe on their sofas, laughing at an infomercial, or lying on the lawn being like fuck yeah, America, and drinking their hundredth arnold palmer of the day.

brainland:

This shit’s really funny until you go to Williamsburg and hipsters have splattered their free associations everywhere, like so much absurd and uninteresting seed. Suddenly every plain straight-forward “Couch For Sale” flyer tacked to a cork board in the pitch recesses of a bar becomes “Cool Beard w/ Guy Comes to All Yr Parties!!!111!” and a couple of the little phone number tabs at the bottom have already been torn away and so you run outside and want to wrap a blindfold around your face so you don’t have to look at all the pseudo-clever graffiti everywhere and know that every single coffe shop bathroom door in Williamsburg is covered in inane rantings by people who read some Baudelaire and just got it and then corrected each other’s grammar in Sharpies alongside crude drawings of dicks and mythical beasts and it’s all a fucking circle jerk of how authentic and original everyone is and so you take that blindfold and put it on and you run down Bedford Ave. punching directionlessly and if you happen to hit some motherfuckers wearing keffiyas and Wayfarers, well, they brought it on themselves because they were too busy wondering how to play kickball ironically, and then you collapse back home in your apartment in neighboring Greenpoint and you breathe a sigh of relief because you are defending Brooklyn from douche-gentrification and then you glance over at your Rockband set and the weird decorations you found on the street and maybe some volumes of poetry by dead white guys and in a silent offputting moment of clarity you think to yourself, “Wait… why’d I punch all those people when I could have just shot them?”

[via sraz]